"We Only Part to Meet Again"

Tomorrow is day 250. I pointed out in a note that 250 days is 8 months and 7days (or a week) and that amounts to 6,000 hours. Ha. That's the time I have been here and that is absolutely crazy. There have been memories, bonding moments, harry potter marathons (Watched all 8 movies in 48 hours), 

"There is a tide in the affairs of men.
Which taken at the flood, leads on to fortune;
Omitted,all the voyage of their life
Is bound in shallows and in miseries. 

On such a full sea are we now afloat, 

And we must take the current when it serves, 

Or lose our ventures."

Julius Caesar- William Shakespeare

As things wrap up and graduation went off without a hitch I am stunned to think that time has come and gone just like that. It's time to return to life and share what I have learned... That also includes Spanish!  As I look back and as I talk to others I learn from their observations. When I came in I was calloused, broken, used, and in control. I knew that I had a few checked boxes I had to fill and this year would be a breeze. I thought I had it all figured out- just like a game of chess. The King will always be standing..until it's guards are let down. Then and only then can it be exposed. Well, it took having everything against me to shut my mouth and let God do the talking. Early on, I learned that people are just in fact that... people. Yes we are all different people from different backgrounds, however, we are still human. We ALL make mistakes and we all sin. Whether it's gossip about one another or harbor resentment towards another. It's all the same sin inside... just different ways of dealing with issues.

I'm sad to say it, but the beginning of the end is happening. I am packed except for the clothes needed for the day and the journey home. I spent all day Saturday going through my keep, donate, or throw away piles. I was going through notes about fitting into the culture, quick ways to pick up Spanish, and numerous handouts pertaining to rules and class guidelines. It's sad that in just a few short hours it will all be over. All 12 (Including Jaime) of us will get on a plane and fly back the states sometime in May. Graduation is April 30th. Some of us leave anywhere from May 2nd (tomorrow) to May 7th and J leaves later on in May.

It's the end of something beautiful.

You know that quote that's at the beginning of the post? Have you ever hear it before? Ever thought about what it means? Want me to ask another question? haha. Sorry. The quotes means: Act now, while we have the power, because if we wait too long- we may find that we have lost the opportunity and that we'll loose everything. That's pretty heavy, but very thought provoking at the same time. If we don't understand that tomorrow isn't promised... then we miss our chance to impact the world. I've kept myself from enjoying a certain situation or time because I was worried about things that just don't matter. When you have that passion- jump on it. When you have that nudge- move on it. Why? Because tomorrow will not be the same and it is not promised... at all. 

I hate talking about goodbyes because frankly I'm not good at them. Last night I had to say many goodbyes and it's not at all fun. I try to write letters and I just can't. I feel numb and it's different. I'm use to people coming and going in my life. I'm use to saying goodbye, but not to people who actually mean something. I've only done this a couple of times and it's not fun. Now to say goodbye to a group of people- it will be hard. I've been with these girls for a while and now we are all headed in different directions. Almost a week ago- I said good bye to an intern who I have become close with. It wasn't easy and when I got back to my room, I cried. It's getting harder to say goodbye. Sometimes I try to say to myself that I'll see them later, but then I realize that it might not happen. I'll see some people but God has different plans. John Glover use to say behind the curtain at the Atlanta Passion Play... "This is last time that we will all be together in the same situation. Some are friends now, and others with be in different places. This moment is precious." It's like the whole- capture every second. If I could tell Melissa back at the beginning that the "time will fly- capture it." woah. I totally would. 

I have been stressed this past few months, and I want to apologize to those I ignored or spoke down to. I was trying to make sure I follow all rules like they need to and getting all school work and other stuff done. It takes a lot out of someone trying to be perfect. I've been so stressed with trying to follow the rules and not get into trouble that I have forgotten to breathe and relax. In the midst of literally running to make it in by 10:30pm or out by 8:15 am. I began to mix feelings with the pressure and true friendships. What I have been learning and it seems to be a central theme in my life. The phrase I have heard all my life, I now have to apply. "Trust God and leave all the consequences to Him."- Charles Stanley I literally have heard that my entire life. It took me a long time to realize that quote in its entirety. It's a daily battle because I cannot control what others do nor say. I can only control what I say, what I do, and how I react.

"Out of suffering have emerged

 the strongest souls;

the most massive characters 

are seared with scars."

Philosopher Kahili Gibran

Sometimes, I look back and I think that I could do so much more. Why didn't I do this or why didn't I say this. what I have been learning is no regrets. What happened is something that should have happened and frankly it has shaped me to be the person who I am today. Everything has happened for such a time as this. It has had its moments of prodigious leaps of faith and moments of tiny whispers of keep going.

As I end this post it may seems like I am rambling, but there is just so much going on. People are getting in their last beach time and others are packing. Some are sitting around in a circle playing the game 2048. Download it-it's addictive, but good. Seriously. it's a math game and it's fun. Anyways, Others are doing laundry and the rest are just wandering around. 

There is so much going on that I will post a recap of the month soon.

"Well, I won't give up on us,

Even if the skies get rough,

I'm giving you all my love,

I'm still looking up."

Till next time,